Other's Incompetence Is Your Ticket to The Top

It's a cut-throat world out there and there seem to be no signs that things will be getting any easier. We live in a society that loves competition. Whether it be sports, a friendly game of Scrabble, or one's career field, one had better be prepared to face some fierce opposition. It will take a lot of preparation and hard work to get what one wants in life.

However, there is hope for those of you who don't quite want to put in all that much effort. The fact is, much of the world is incompetent. With minimal preparation and hard work, one can get through life fairly well simply by profiting where others fall short. Sure, this might not guarantee a corner office, but by simply not being stupid, one can prevent finding themselves homeless. It's may be a cut-throat world out there, but it's also quite definitely a glass-half-full world.

Blogging About Blogging, How Existential

Brandon sat alone in the mass media computer lab, pounding away at the keyboard in vain hopes of creating a literary master for the web. He was almost half way through an entry when another student entered the lab. As the student, who will be refered to as Paddywhack in interest of concealing his identity, took a seat he turned to Brandon and inquired as to the nature of his work.

"What are you up to?"
"Typing a blog post."
"Pshha. Blogs are stupid. They're just another way for self centered people to draw attention to themselves."
"Well, I have to do this one for feature writing. We have to follow journalistic standards, write in third person and use AP style."
"Blogs are stupid."
"No comment."

Brandon finished his entry, admired his masterwork, and published it.

Winter

Finals season isn't the only thing upon us. Winter is making itself known in quite a resounding way. In a cruel twist, Tuesday's unseasonably warm 70 degrees have given way to subfreezing temperatures, sleet and snow.

It's as if the weather is reflecting the lives of students. Clouds have cast a melancholy malaise over Washburn University, leaving students feeling cold, wet, alone and in despair. In reality, they may really be sitting in the library perfectly dry, though no one is ever warm in Mabee.

All are looking forward to the end of finals. Regardless of the weather, Friday hold nothing but warmth and sunshine for college students.

The End Is Nigh

All of the symptoms of finals season are present. Panic has set in, students are furiously reading their textbooks for the first time since Fall Break. Even a physical aversion to paper writing has afflicted some.

Coursework is ruining the college experience. Good thing most students have been avoiding it all semester.

Dirty Window

In the latter years of my Grandfather’s life, rather than go to a nursing home, he was blessed with in home help, including in home care and a couple of cleaning ladies.

The title of cleaning lady was only a formality, seeing as how there is no title for two women that come to an old man’s home weekly for two hours and do virtually nothing. They normally stayed for two hours, during which they vacuumed, did a few other modest house chores, and enjoyed an hour-long coffee break. Perhaps scam artist would be most descriptive.
However, there was no getting rid of them. Despite the fact that they cleaned nothing above or below their field of vision, they were part of Grandpa’s routine. He knew that they were good for nothing, but they had been coming since before my Grandmother passed away he really didn’t like change.

Betty, on the other hand, actually took pride in her work and would regularly dust, scrub and shine anything the “cleaning ladies” refused to touch.

On one particular week when I was visiting Grandpa, Betty became disgusted by the state of the large picture window in the living room. Betty went out in the back yard with a bottle of glass cleaner and a roll of paper towels and didn’t come back until both panes of glass had been scrubbed and the cobwebs cleared from between. The window shined like it hadn’t in months.

When the cleaning ladies came in, they looked at the immaculately cleaned picture window and expressed with mock disappointment “Oh, we were going to clean the window today, but looks like it has already been cleaned.

Without missing a beat, Grandpa replied with the boldest of lies.

“Oh, a bird came and shit all over the window and Betty couldn’t stand it so she went out and cleaned the window,” said Grandpa.

The two women accepted the explanation, not taking so much as a second to question how this talented bird prompted Betty to clean between the two panes of glass.

I listened from the next room in awe; biting my tongue to keep from laughing. At 92-years of age, my Grandfather could lie with the best of them.

Get A Grip

At every team sporting event, there is always the same overall outcome. One team experiences the euphoria of victory while the other experiences the proverbial agony of defeat. Whether due to their own short comings, the overwhelming talent of their opponent, or both, the losing team cannot escape the feeling that they should have done better. After all, they were responsible for their own fate in this matter. However, one must take a moment to consider the fans.

It can be observed at the end of every season, regardless of the sport or the league, collegiate or professional. The disappointed fan. Having followed the team all season, from the preseason to the quickly approaching championship, hoping desperately for their team to be named the best. Sadly, all was for not. The emotional payoff they were gambling on did not come.

Cheering for ones favorite team can be great fun, as long as one approaches it rationally the age old saying, "it's just a game." Those four words can garner violent reactions from some, but really, it's foolish to treat is as anything more. Humans are imperfect and fallible. These sports fans are placing their faith and happiness in the hands of these fallible creatures. They should stopping risking so much on something that means to little in the end.

The Evils of Youtube

Enter one keyword into the Youtube search engine and you're off. Perhaps it's your favorite band, an actor or a comedian. Either way, you're sure to find numerous videos you never knew existed, or never dreamed you would see.

Their 1992 appearance on a late night talk show? Can't miss that. Rare footage from a performance at a state fair in the late eighties? It's like you've hit the jackpot.

Soon you'll get greedy and want to view every video possible. Before you know it several hours have passed, your butt has fallen asleep and you have nothing to show for your day. Youtube makes television seem quite innocuous.

Promoting Family Values, Their Own

In the interest of full disclosure, a publication will occasionally include a disclaimer within a story when it may appear that there is a conflict of interest or that they are bein hypocritical. Perhaps that need does not apply in this situation, but the New York Times certainly published one ironic piece on Wednesday.

A story on the front page of the Arts section, dated October 24, 2007, tells of the controversy surrounding the annoucement of John Podhoretz as the next editor of Commentary magazine. Podhoretz's hiring has attracted claims of neopotism; Podhoretz's father, Norman Podhoretz, was editor of the magazine from 1959 to 1995.

While the New York Times only reports on the controversy and not offer its own opinion, the story is still quite ironic considering the history of the paper. One needs only to turn to the editorial page to find why. There one will find a listing of the current staff along with a list of past publishers and the years they held the position.

Adolph S. Ochs
Publisher 1896-1935

Arthur Hays Sulzberger
Publisher 1935-1961

Orvil E. Dryfoos
Publisher 1961-1963

Arthur Ochs Sulzberger
Publisher 1963-1992

And the current publisher... Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Jr. The Ochs-Sulzberger family has been heading the New York Times for 106 of the last 109 years. I wonder if this fact crossed the mind of author Patricia Cohen as she wrote this piece.

We Speak Different Languages

Brandon listened intently as the female classmate read aloud from the German text book with impecable pronunciation. He and a third classmate had been grouped with this apparent perfectionist to read the passage aloud and work on translation. The perfectionist was apparently the only who knew what was going on.

As the classmate finished reading the paragraph, she looked up from the book and made the most astonishing of proclamations. "I think German is my new favorite foreign language," said the female classmate.

"Oh," said Brandon, feining interest yet hoping that this noncommital response would not lead to a conversation.

Truthfully, Brandon was left a little puzzled as to how anyone could have a "favorite foreign language," let alone a "new favorite foreign language." It must be an innate quaility some poses from birth.

Where back? There back!

A picture is worth a thousand words. However, a picture doesn't always have to be grammatically correct. The marquee at the Topeka Steak and Shake has been displaying this message since at least October 7. Either no one has the nerve to tell the management how embarrassingly stupid this makes them look, or they don't care.

If someone is going to misuse the English language, at least do it correctly. Case in point, the title of this blog. At least employ humor or irony when butchering the language.

Overheard At Washburn

It's a lazy afternoon in Memorial Union at Washburn University. The buzz of students going to a fro that resonated off the walls just a few hours before has died down to a relative calm.

On the lower level two students play ping pong while a third sits in a chair watching ESPN on the nearby plasma screen TV. A male student approaches and takes a seat next to his friend and strikes up the following conversation.

"Dude, there's a flier on the bulletin board with a picture of Ron Jeremy."
Ping. Pong.
"Yeah, he's going to be here next week."
Ping. Pong.
"What? Here at Washburn? Really? Why?"
Ping. Pong.
"Yeah, he's going to debate a former porn addict about the pros and cons of porn addiction."
Ping. Pong.
"Wait, there are pros to porn addiction?"

Laughter ensues.

Ping. Pong.

Decisions, decisions

Difficult decisions are a part of everyday life. Some require careful consideration due to the impact on the decision maker's life. "Should I ask her to marry me?" While others are quite trivial. "Soft taco or crunchy taco?" Others decisions can leave a person in such disaray that they start cursing the heavens in frustration. Such is the case with the new line of Apple iPods.

Apple recently unveiled the latest updates to the popular line of music player to much media fanfare. Among the new line are the iPod Nano with a larger screen and video capabilities, the iPod Classic with more hard drive space than most would know what to do with, and the iPod Touch with a large touch screen interface and internet browsing capabilities.

For someone looking to purchase one of these new iPods, it looks like a simple decision on the surface, until one take the price into consideration. An 8-Gigabyte iPod Nano can be purchase for $200. That seems like a good deal for an unbelievably small device that can play music and videos, until you look at the iPod Classic. The slightly bulkier 80-Gigabyte iPod Classic can be purchased for $250, a $50 dollar difference. Wow, seems like a great deal. Oh, but look at the iPod Touch. The iPod Touch can be purchased for $300, yet again, a $50 difference. Keep in mind, the $300 iPod touch only holds 8-Gigabytes.

It all comes down to minimizing buyers remorse. Storage, capabilities and price. With so many factors to take into consideration, one might just give up and never purchase an iPod at all.

Disturbing Signs

In the film "Stranger Than Fiction," Harold Crick, played by Will Farrell, is asked by literature professor Jules Hilbert, played by Dustin Hoffman, to discover whether he is living in a comedy or a tragedy. Crick starts keeping a tally of events that support his living in a comedy or a tragedy. Washburn University is certainly shaping up to be the the setting of a comedy.

It is not uncommon to see large tent on the Washburn campus. The kind usually associated with fireworks stands are regularly pitched on the lawn around the union for one event or another. However, the signage that adorns the tent is a cause for concern about the state of the human race.

Posted inside the tent are the standard "No Smoking" signs. There was really no arguing with these painted ply wood signs, mounted to the two inner tent poles. Smoking while under a large cloth canopy isn't the brightest of ideas, even if the fabric is flame retardant. No, it was not the "No Smoking" signs that is cause for concern. It is the "EXIT" signs.

The small ply wood signs hang from the edges of the canopy, showing the way out of the tent. There in lies the ridiculousness. It's a tent. A wall-less tent. There's no excuse for not finding the way out of a wall-less tent.

The existence of these "EXIT" signs absolutely dumbfounding. A great comedy in the making.

Discredited, so to speak

Credit card companies will never cease to amaze the masses. Take for instance the latest service offered by the Chase Credit Card company. (Offered meaning harassing customers via phone in the evening.)

For the low price of $7.95 a month, Chase will alert their customers within 24 hours if any fraudulent activity is detected on their credit card account. That means it you don't pay them they will turn a blind eye to crime. Hmmm. That's nice to know.

Fraud detection? The fraud here isn't hard to detect, probably because it's coming from within Chase.

Needed: Common Sense

Few people enjoy unwanted sexual advances, so it is of little surprise that conservative political commentator Tucker Carlson was not too keen on being grabbed in a public restroom.

Carlson, the host of MSNBC's Tucker, recently sparked some controversy over comments he made on MSNBC Live with Dan Abrams. During a discussion of Senator Larry Craig's recent confession to unsavory activities in a public restroom, Carlson recounted being bothered in a public restroom as a teenage.

According to Carlson, while still high school, a man grabbed him in a public restroom. Carlson ran away and returned 25-minutes later with a friend only to find the man still there. Carlson and his friend proceeded to seize the man and "hit him against the stall with his head." The pair then held the man until a security guard arrived.

Carlson's account of the incident has drawn fire from media watchdog group Media Matters for America as well as gay rights organizations such as The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) and the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), both of which are demanding that Carlson issue and apology. Bloggers have done their best to label Carlson as a gay basher.

While violence is never recommended in a situation such as this, one can hardly call this a gay bashing. Regardless of one's position on homosexuality, all rational people must agree that calling Carlson's actions a gay bashing devalues the experience of all non-predators who have been victims of violence because of their sexuality.

First Post

According to blog search engine Technorati, there are more than 71 million weblogs in existance. Here's one more the heap.

Despite the overwhelming number of blogs, I can't help but feeling important knowing that people are actually going to read mine and care about what I have to say. Then again, I might be grossly overestimating my readership. Oh well.

Watch this page in the coming days and weeks for mind blowing works of literature from yours truly, a blogger with the nerve to give his blog a grammatically incorrect title.